Reg Grove remembers a time when seeking mental health advice was something that was sought from family and friends, or for men, mainly from other men. It was always a sensitive topic, but for Reg, it was something he did without second-guessing himself.

“I remember growing up and hearing about how to deal with stressful situations. It was always, ‘Can you do something about it?’ I would answer either yes or no. If it was a yes, then I was given the advice that I should do something about it. If it was a no, then I was told that it (the issue) is out of my control and that I would just need to get on with life.

Growing up, I realised life was more complicated. Sometimes the answer wasn’t always a clear ‘yes’ or ‘no.’”
Now President of the Parramatta District Men’s Shed, Reg and other members of the organisation work to support men with advice, skills, and projects to improve mental health and wellbeing in Sydney’s West. His organisation provides a place for men over the age of 18 to meet, learn new skills, and share hobbies, without focusing solely on the conversation about mental health.

“When men ask for help, it’s a sign of immense strength, courage, and proactivity. Men (tend) to see it as a step backward, but really, it’s a step forward,” says Simone De Mario Henry, Certified Counsellor and Program Facilitator at Be Unstoppable, an organisation that specialises in management strategies to manage anxiety, depression, and skills to build healthier minds.

Simone offered attendees practical tips on managing anxious and stressful thoughts as part of her contribution to the panel discussion hosted by Parramatta Leagues on December 2, 2024.

“(Your) thoughts are influenced by emotions. Before you respond to a situation, or ask yourself a question, get yourself in the right emotional state, so you don’t respond in an emotional state.
When your mind is anxious, it is in a future state. When you feel emotions of sadness, your mind is often focused on the past. You need to bring yourself to the present,” says Simone.

According to research published by Suicide Prevention, Australia’s national peak body for the suicide prevention sector, risk factors for suicide that are prevalent among men can include social isolation, relationship breakdown, alcohol and other drug use, and childhood trauma.[1]

Particularly, the report shows lower instances of help-seeking among men as they age, as they tend to find it more difficult to disclose, which increases isolation and separation from social connections. The report calls for more targeted intervention for men who account for three quarters of deaths by suicide in Australia.[2]

The report highlights that concepts of masculinity and stoicism emerged in both consultations as significant factors influencing stigma and help-seeking behaviour among men.

Dee Raquel Joma, founder and Executive Director of Be Unstoppable, explains that these factors affecting men and stopping them for seeking help are not confined to a single group, or culture.

“Mental health is something we all experience. Underneath it all, we are all the same. We all go through pain and if lean on each other we can find the support and skills we need,” says Dee.
“If you can find skills and support, you move toward building a stronger mind,” says Dee, who shared that her motivation for supporting a healthier outlook on mental health stemmed from losing her father to suicide at a young age. She now leads Be Unstoppable as a platform for men and adults to drive greater change in attitudes and behaviours, so that there are fewer incidences of self-harm and suicide, and greater awareness of suicide prevention.
Daniel Allars, State Manager of the Top Blokes Foundation and another contributor to the panel, explains that the Movember campaign is a way for men around the country to have conversations with each other about their mental health and wellbeing.

“Having these conversations is not something that you would stereotypically do. The Movember campaign is a way to have these conversations. The Movember campaign is a way to reclaim that stoicism as growing a ‘mo’ back in the day was seen as a right of passage,” says Daniel.

Shaun Lane, second-row forward for the Parramatta Eels, and spokesperson for the Parramatta Eels during the panel discussion, explained that the Movember campaign has grown from humble beginnings into a greater social movement – with even more ways for men to get involved, not just growing a ‘mo’, such as growing your hair, donating to another person’s or team’s Movember challenge, or taking on an exercise challenge.

“Movember is a great initiative as it combines a traditional masculine symbol of the ‘mo’ with a new approach of vulnerability to support men in opening up about their issues with others,” says Shaun.

To mark the end of the night, the team from Hair Crew and Co at Parramatta Westfields — Arzoo Rahi, Leanne Spiteri, and Levi Stoker — celebrated the completion of Movember challenges for two attendees, both of whom are now sporting a new look.

Rebecca Hunt, Director at the Parramatta Leagues Group, emphasised the importance of the Movember for the local community.

“Giving back is at the heart of what we do, and Movember is a powerful way to support causes that resonate deeply with our values and the people we serve,” says Rebecca.

“Together, we’ll make a real difference.”

Movember is one of several initiatives led by the Parramatta Leagues Group because it aligns with their ongoing commitment to supporting the local community. Every year, a dedicated team of staff from within the group helps raise funds and foster awareness on critical issues such as men’s mental health, suicide prevention, prostate cancer, and testicular cancer.

You can continue to make donations to Movember to support improved mental health for men. Please visit https://au.movember.com/donate, for more information.

[1] Suicide Prevention Australia, Australia. (2023, May). Targeted consultations with groups disproportionately impacted by society. Suicide Prevention Australia, Australia, https://www.suicidepreventionaust.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/Targeted-Population-Consultations-SPA-NSPO-September-2023-1.pdf.

[2] As above.